#4 Do as you say
Do as you say – so, listen to your child when they speak the first time too. Role-model the behaviour. Also, see it from their point of view, if you are always issuing demands and ultimatums isn’t it likely that they will feel like they are living in a dictatorship. Maybe, just maybe, they are sometimes testing the boundaries to prove they are individuals with opinions too. It might be that they deserve an explanation as to why the instruction needs to be followed right at that moment – so they have a chance to see the reasonableness of the request.