5. Finally, be consistent and clear when setting boundaries. Chat to your partner about the things that you won’t tolerate and what the consequences will be. And try to keep things simple – so they can understand and you don’t forget!
So, for example, in our house if my son hits he gets a time out immediately; and then a warning that if it happens again he won’t be able to play with x as he’s not shown me that he can play nicely. I’ve found that the warning is helpful and can turn it into a game (similarly I sometimes count to three i.e. 1 that’s not ok please stop, 2 that’s your last chance to stop, 3 game over).
Importantly though, be sure you are able to follow through! I’ve had a few occasions when I’ve really wished I’d not made a threat – most notably when I told my son that if he didn’t stop throwing his pasta on the floor when we went for dinner with friends that we’d have to leave before pudding. I fully expected him to stop but he didn’t and the consequence was that I lost out on my chance for a glass of much needed vino and a chat!